Scared to tell
Well hello i am a junior in high school, i live in California. See not long ago i found out that i was well gay. See its hard for me to say this for many who hear this word think the worst when to me the word gay means secrecy. its hard for me to say that i am gay because i just found out last year when i had the most fantastic dream it was a dream where for the second time i felt something in the heart.
Not long ago i had a relationship with this girl i loved her so much for about 4 years but then that special feeling left my body as if it was just a quick wind that blew threw me. Then when i felt Adrians lips kiss mine i felt the most wonderful thing. Ever since then i have been so depresed for that kiss was a dream.
Now i check out guys which creeps me out but i do it with no harm. Adrian see he is now is a Sophmore in high school, i see him evry day every waking day of my life and it kills me. his deep blue ocean eyes burn mine. those eyes incarnated by the sky kill me softly.
I wish i could yell to the world this secret but my Father hates homosexuals. Our family is catholic and to be gay is a sin. my friends wont mind but i just cant tell anyone scared alone and shy all these feelings in this body decay me.
Adrian see he is such a lovely guy but i have no idea if he is gay. his last name i cant say only that it is the most strangest yet lovely last name. I need help for i happen always to be depressed when i happen to see Adrian. He seems to see me to we both stare at each other but we say nothing only a nice kind satre and a half smile.
AVERT.org has information and advice for young men who have recently discovered they are gay.
Anon
Hi i would like to keep my identity Confidetal because i am not out.
i guess i always knew i was gay when i was 9 i realised i was ok with it until i hit puberty at 13. than i tryed to hide it i tryed to convince myself that i was not gay. i started to get depressed until a new boy moved to my school we became mates and i started to fall in love with him he became my best friend (i think he was gay i think he is on this site) he was amazing tall, athletic and had dark hair. when we sleped around each others i would lay there and watch him watch his chest move up and down when i masterbated i would think of him and how much i wanted to hold him how much i wanted to be with him. i decided i was going to tell him than i found out that he was moving the love of my life was going to wales.
the next couple of days after that i was so unhappy. than the week before he left i stayed around his i wanted so badly to tell him how i felt i just could not find the courage now hes been gone for two years. the only mistake i have made is not having told him about me being gay and how i felt about him.
the only advice i have to any one is to come out if you are sure you are gay and just not going throug a fase like most people do when they are going through puberty. i have not come out because i live in a very homophobic house. and don't be scared to show the real you and your feelings.
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