AIDS In The Family - 15-Apr-2008

My partner

Hi my friends call me T-T I’m a happy successful mother.

HIV-AIDS is such a surreal experience, until you have actually gone through the testing and getting the results you will never know.

I’ve always been careful with my health always, I tested regularly and had protected sex. I met a man I knew was my soul mate weconnected, had fun even consulted him for each every life decision he was the one [he had one flaw I thought I could fix, womanizing and drinking like there is no tomorrow] My family though didn’t like him much it was as if they could see right through him.

I’m always running to the doctor when something is wrong with my body, my body really talks to me, after unprotected sex with this man I would get night sweats, thrush, vomiting and a loose stomach and not once did I reconcile this with HIV it could have been too much heat or because I was traveling a lot it was probably change of weather and places [I thought to myself]. Then as part of my routine check ups I asked him to accompany me to my doctor [I knew he was scared of testing so I would test then he would test after me] deep down I knew something was not right but I loved him.

My Elisa came out Negative and I smiled and the doctor proceeded to him and as the thin line appeared on HIV-1, I could feel my spirit leave my body the whole room just started to fade and my stomach turned, how can this happen to us I mean me [this was not my reality it was my neighbors my friends not mine].

I asked my doctor to then draw blood for both of us for further test. The next three days would be hell, he dropped me off at home

I couldn’t tell anyone [they would say they told me so] He didn’t seem moved by the whole thing which worried my doctor painfully.

We went back after 3 days his was confirmed positive and mine negative [it was a short-lived victory as I knew I had to go back after 3months and 6months] I swore I was going help him through this even better it would force him to focus on us [I was wrong] he wanted to have me around to look out for him but he was self destructing and I could see he was taking me with it was painful.

11 weeks went by and I asked him to come along he refused saying that he had urgent matters and things were happening in his life that he had to deal with and I was bothering him [I was alone, scared and went for the test] it came out negative again my doctor assured me I was okay and that I should come back after 6months but I’m okay. I will probably go back for the 6months test, as I want to give my daughter a full life with a mother who is healthy.

Parallel to this my dear cousin confessed to me while I was relating my story to her that she is also positive it shattered me, now we are in a process of making sure she gets treatment. Until HIV comes knocking at your door you never think its your problem what this taught me was it can happen to anyone now I live in fear that after 6months I might seroconvert but I’m praying hard that it doesn’t happen.

We need to be strong for those infected and for ourselves because life is just too short and HIV is making it shorter.

(back to top)

Prejudice in India

Mukhtar Yadav (40 Yrs old) of Village Charwa, died of AIDS on 15th of July 2005. He was migrant mason labourer from Chapra, Bihar working at Bangalore, India since last 7 years.

He came to ENT Consultant Dr K K S* at Patna for his problem in deglutition. After examination he was referred to Dr DT, Family Physician and Presently Medical Director, Regional AIDS Training Center and Network in India, IHO. Dr DT after through examination, suspected him to be a full blown AIDS case. He got the initial treatment for an opportunistic oral candidiasis and was referred to Nazareth Hospital, Mokama (about 60 Kms from Patna) where Bihar AIDS Control Society is sponsoring 10 beds exclusively for AIDS patients for opportunistic infection treatment. At present there is no govt. hospital that is providing free or subsidized anti retroviral therapy to the patients in Bihar.

Negative discrimination for his wife and her immediate family members had started from the time he was getting treatment at Nazareth Hospital. By that time her wife's (Mrs. Rampati Devi, 35 Yrs) and youngest daughter's (Baby Anshu Kumari (3 Yrs) +ve HIV status was known to everyone in the village. Her Other daughters and sons namely Ms. Babita Kumari (12 Years), Ms. Sunita Kumari (9 Yrs), Mr. Pintu Kumar Yadav (7 Years), and Mr. Santu Kumar Yadav (6 Years) didn't turn reactive to HIV testing. Her suffering started and no one was coming to help her. They were discharged from Nazareth Hospital after death of her husband.
After about a month of their discharge from Hospital, she and her daughter started getting some infection as fungal infection on scalp, fever, diarrhea and discharge from ear. They were treated accordingly by me and they responded to the treatment well. As I got involved with their social, mental, financial and medical sufferings, which was making her life miserable, I couldn't stop myself in helping her in all possible way. I gave her all the consolation, courage, medical treatment free of cost. She was so desperate that she wanted to die. There were no earning members in the family, no one to feed them and no one ready to play with their children. She had virtually a hopeless isolated life. During conversation with them I found that still very low level of awareness is prevailing in the society about the mode of transmission of AIDS. Even her fellow villagers thought that they will get AIDS from the air which is passing through her house.

These all episodes had a deep impact on me and prompted me with all seriousness to go in front of the media and volunteer myself in sharing the biscuit with the HIV +ve Victim, only to give the message that AIDS is not transmitted by eating together or by close interactions. Secondly, I was moved to see 3 years old HIV +ve girl and we wished to give a message on this very occasion that HIV transmission can be significantly reduced in infants if HIV +ve pregnant women takes antiretroviral treatment and abstain from breast feeding as per advice by the doctors. All the leading newspapers of Bihar and India (local, regional and national) covered the news and electronic media also gave due coverage. The action was appreciated by people from different folds.

I did not disclose the identity of AIDS patients in the first place. It was so that during her husband's treatment at Nazareth Hospital, her relatives and people from their village came to know about their status. After that negative discrimination started and she became desperate and hopeless. At last resort she herself volunteered and wished to come before media to highlight her story. When I asked her it may disclose her identity, she told that everyone in their family and village already knew her status and there is nothing left to loose further. She has given a thumb impressed written consent also. In my own believe no further harm could have been added by sharing the biscuit, on the other hand, some of the sensitive organization and people may come forward for her help. And many NGO's, Pvt. Companies, Drug companies and individuals have now extended their support. Few are on way to occupationally rehabilitate her, to make her life productive and fruitful, as far as possible.

They are now getting a new hope in their lives. Last week I had seen all the courage and confidence in her. Co villagers and family members have started interacting with them positively.
I pray to god to bless them and bless us.