MaryAnne
Funny that I should find this site. After reading some of what others have written I thought I would put my two cents in as today during a class was a prime example of how ignorance can really be a parent's downfall.
I work in a class which teaches high school students to think at a higher level, among other things. I've been in this program for two years now and really love my kids. My daughter is actually one of my students as well, and even her friends have asked me all sorts of questions. I answer honestly but always with an air of caution to be sure I don't offend anyone - including their parents. Today was one of those days.
The 10th grade class is much smaller than the freshman class (for AVID, where I tutor) and they are encouraged, nay required, to bring a question to class everyday pertaining to their other classes. This year there is a new tutor who I have tried to help learn the program. I took over working with this class today as she and the teacher were busy doing other things. One student finally asked this question from reseach she had done for Health class: "Aside from getting STD's and pregnant, why do adults think having sex is bad?" Long story, short, she was actually asking why do adults think kids shouldn't have sex. I could see in the other tutor's eyes she was not truly comfortable with the nature of the question but I wasn't going to let it deter me in answering. The student had said that in her research sex was supposed to be healthy, something about even making your teeth stronger and helping with depression (yeah, I laughed). I explained that while sex can be healthy and you can even burn calories, it certainly isn't a replacement for regular excercise and that it can promote endorphins which can curb depressed attitude but that's not its goal either. On the health side I also asked about prostitutes. They aren't always the healthiest group and they certainly aren't the happier group because of their profession so her original research probably wasn't all that accurate. Another student added it was about your morals, and I quickly agreed but then asked the students to take that away for the moment, along with the religious aspect and focus on the other issue - the one no one had mentioned - the emotional health and well-being of a person. All the other stuff aside, this was the most important because that's really what sex is about when it comes down to it. And at their age, they really aren't equipt to handle all that comes along with the actions.
Though this was about a 10 minute discussion, I was about to wind down the other tutor piped up in a rather cold tone stating that this had really gone on long enough and that she knew parents of two of the students and personally wouldn't want her daughter listening to any of this. I said nothing for the moment until she looked at me and said she could see on the students' faces that they were uncomfortable (they were mostly facing me and she was in the back of the class) and because of that the discussion needed to end. She felt that no one needed to talk to them except their parents because her child talks to her. And though this may be from Health class, this wasn't the place to talk about it. What I found even more interesting was the student who asked the question originally asked the other tutor why what I was saying was wrong? The tutor's answer, you should be talking to your parent.
Why would anyone in their right mind think that's the cure-all? Maybe if parents were more comfortable and children felt like they could have these types of conversations then there wouldn't be a need for health class. Because I'm in a public school I can't discuss religion but heaven knows there are a lot of religious people out there, unmarried, having sex and getting pregnant - and guess what? A lot are teenagers. And why is it okay to discuss this in Health class but no where else? It just didn't make any sense!!! I wasn't being obsene, graphic or even promoting sex in any way. The other tutor felt I should have kept the answer short and go on to the next. But I don't care how you look at it, that one student who asked the question would have known it as a brush-off had I done that.
You have to be upfront and honest without losing site of the responsibility of what you're saying. I think that's the key. If someone, like this other tutor, thinks I have crossed a line in someway, then it shows the amount of ignorance one can have. Its not just up to the parents - it takes a village to raise a child.
MaryAnne
Bea
Hello I am 13 years old and I go to a all girls private school you would expect the sex-ed to be pretty good but its not!
We only learn about puberty in yr 7 and for some girls that’s too late(mi best friend started at 10 and didn’t know wot was happening to her!)
We don’t learn about Oral or any other sexual related things that we NEED to know.
I don’t want to have sex personally but wouldn’t even know what it was properly if friends hadn’t told me all the biology diagrams show is that something goes into something else and some people don’t know what a boys parts look like.
I think that at 13/14 Year 9(UK)are mature enough to learn about everything to do with sex and a member of the other sex’s body as if you and your b/f choose to have a sexual relationship of any kind then they should have the FULL facts before you get the wrong information from your friends and do dangerous things that could damage or hurt you.
Love Bea (hope other people my age agree with me)
Cathy
I'm a California public school teacher. As part of my job I have the responsibility to teach a "puberty class" for 5th graders, and a much more comprehensive "6th Grade Sex Education Course." I'm a "known quantity" at my school. I'm the only teacher who has the entire intermediate student population (just over 300 kids) in my classroom, day after day, every year. I teach Science to 4th, 5th, and 6th graders, so students are in my class for three years in a row. By that third year, students have learned that I will answer their questions (about anything...) with absolute honesty. Likewise they tend to volunteer information to me that they would never tell their parents. I always start by reminding them that I am a designated reporter, and if what they are about to tell me indicates that they are in a situation that could harm them, I will be calling CPS (Child Protective Services.) They still talk to me. I have called, and will continue to call CPS on occasions that warrant reporting. I'm still an adult students can talk to about "things they have tried." When I tell them "Don't do that again... it's really dangerous and here's why..." they actually listen, because they know I care too much not to tell them the hard truths.
I've been reading the letters sent in, and I am extremely proud of the teens who've written. They understand (probably better than most adults) that going up against biological drives "uninformed" is just not smart. True, prior knowledge isn't a cure-all when it comes to sex, but it's certainly better than learning by "trial and error." Kids need the truth, and yes, they can handle the truth! While maturity levels vary, in general, 6th grade is not too young to learn about human sexuality.
Cathy
Peter
Hi, my name's Peter and I'm 56 years old.
I've read a lot of stories sent to you on the subject of sex-ed. As a teenager growing up in the "swinging sixties", I suppose the subject was discussed in our schools but I have to be honest, whatever education we did get seemed to go out the window as soon as you left the classroom. Everybody was too busy deciding what to wear down the local youth club that night etc. As for where our education came from I suppose it was from messing about behind bike-sheds or if you were lucky and lived near the beach the sand dunes could no doubt tell a few stories.
Getting back on a more serious note, I do feel its very important for the youth of today to get a proper sex-ed other than doing as we did in the sixties, not only from the diseases one can get but for the mental benefits a good education can provide. I hope I've been able to help,thank you for taking time to read the memories of an "aging hippy", still smiling after all these years.
No comments:
Post a Comment